The Milestone Theory

***Updated for 2024***

Never heard of the milestone theory? Neither has much of the scientific community, to be honest. Despite this, I’m convinced it’s real, substantial, and has merit for all to consider.

I first used it in another one of my earlier posts about time. Time, as you may or may not know, is THE most important asset you have – and you can read that post right here.

Ok, so just what is The Milestone Theory, and how is it important?

The Milestone Theory – Defined

The Milestone Theory is relatively simple, to be frank. Essentially, it states that time seems to pass much slower when we are younger because we have a lot of milestones ahead of us. As we age – and achieve these milestones – we begin to transition to everyday life, devoid of these life occasions. We begin to coast through life and without milestones to mark our travel through existence, it seems to go faster. Ever heard the phrase, “the days are long, but the years are short?” Only for adults does this ring true.

So, to compress for some, The Milestone Theory is a theory that states the more milestones we have behind us, the faster time seems to go.

*By the way, you read it here first. I’m laying claim to the name – “The Milestone Theory.” *

A long-time goal – kind of like a milestone – to see Mt. Rushmore in 2021

 

The Milestone Theory – Explained

Let’s get to it

Think about it for a minute. Let’s review a list of some of the more common milestones we may expect to encounter in life.

• learning to walk and talk
• starting school
• reaching double digits
• middle school ( I equate middle school to a zoo)
• high school
• sweet sixteen (if you are a girl)
• driving (and for some reason, this is becoming less important to an entire generation  – VERY strange to me)
• prom
• job
• graduation
• eighteen (finally an adult – ha! Yeah right)
• College (for SOME – see my post on college and whether it is worth it – for most, it isn’t)
• somewhere in here are serious relationships
• marriage
• careers
• children

The list isn’t exhaustive; rather, it’s merely meant to address some of the more prevalent ones. There are many more – and each of us often has our own.

Now, think about all of those milestones above. What do each of them have in common? I’ll tell you: each is reserved for our youth – that time when we wish it all away, wanting to be older than we are. Then one day, we find ourselves having passed most of those milestones that break up our existence. In their place? Memories.

 

Memories

Memories – can you put a price on them?

Memories play a large part overall because as we age, we only have the memories of those milestones. Think about it for a moment: How many times have you heard parents say their kids grew up way too fast? “Seems like we brought her home just yesterday.”

Memories aren’t the same as milestones, though. While we know what many of the common milestones are, we don’t know what our memories will be – until they are our memories, that is. Put another way, we anticipate milestones but memories find us suddenly.

Some can make the case that memories are sweeter than milestones – and to some extent, I agree. Of course, there is something to be said of anticipation of a milestone, too. Throw in the milestone itself and you have a nice tripod for enjoyment. That is, if you come to recognize things for what they are.

 

Milestones Enjoyed

ALWAYS cherish life – for it consists of milestones that become memories

What’s disheartening to witness is the rush through life. Many old timers who have regrettably experienced the same thing try and warn others of this unfortunate peril. Blazing through the milestones and forgoing the enjoyment they bring. Sometimes we are so focused on the next thing we fail to stop and enjoy ourselves in the moment. Think about it: when was the last time you enjoyed the moment? Moreover, can you remember truly enjoying the milestones in your life, celebrating them like they were the only thing at the time? Or were you too focused on the next thing as soon as you achieved it?

For my part, I wish everyone understood the benefit of slowing down and enjoying the moment. In an ironic twist that’s life, the youth wish their time away while the elderly understand the value of it. Whoever said, “Youth is wasted on the young” was a prophet in their time.

Milestone Examples

Legacy milestones

 

Let’s get specific with this and see where we end up. For example, look at graduation (from high school). What do we do about this milestone? How much anticipation was there to be had before we graduated – achieving this great milestone? Can it be said that for many of us, the enjoyment was choked somewhat because we were looking at the next milestone – perhaps a career, marriage, college, or just plain relaxing for a bit? I suspect many of us could look back and realize the milestone wasn’t really enjoyed; instead, it was treated as though it was a stepping stone.

Let’s examine another: careers – a milestone usually found in one’s 20’s. What happens? We find ourselves on autopilot – day in and day out – just going through the motions. We get up, go to work, go home, and go to bed, only to rise the next day and repeat the cycle. Did we enjoy this milestone? Do we even know when it was achieved? Can we look back and remember any anticipation we may have had for what we do for a living before the milestone was accomplished?

Sadly, this is how many of us approach milestones, too; we anticipate it, achieve it, and the actual achievement is diminished because even before we reach one – we are looking toward the next.

 

Older People and Milestones

We should strive to enjoy our elder years – it’s a privilege many never achieve

Older people have fewer milestones in their life. This is not to be confused with the things that happen daily. A great example of this is older people are much harder to shop for for Christmas. Since they get what they want when they want – AND are set in their ways – the trouble of finding what they would like can be a head-scratcher. Compared to a child who longs for Christmas day (a mini milestone, to be sure), the difference is clear.

The milestones older people do experience, though, they REALLY cherish and relish in them. The first one that comes to mind is grandchildren. Here is one milestone where most grandparents love to reside. They thoroughly enjoy this milestone, and the memories are just as sweet (and many times sweeter) as those of their own kids. Children are precious and the grandchildren are often quipped to be the reward for letting your children live – you know, because they drove you crazy when younger.

I’ve heard multiple times now how amazing it is to be a grandparent, and hope to be there one day, myself. Moreover, I hope I really internalize the time with family since so many of us squander our most precious resource. I also hope to inspire others, too – through articles, podcast episodes, and even discussions – to take stock of what they have and how important it is.

Another milestone I can think of is retirement. I realize not everyone feels their situation can justify retiring, and it’s certainly true there are some people who work far longer than they’d like. Still, for those who have the means, retirement is a great milestone to anticipate. Then it becomes a great milestone to achieve. Of course, it’s a milestone to remember as new possibilities open up. What’s more, many of those same retirees seek to spend more time around family – and those endearing grandchildren! Double win!

 

Milestones and Time

Time is our most precious asset – and we waste so much of it

Of course, time plays a large part in this as well. Time weighs heavy on us all, and the older we get the more it weighs. When we are young, time seems to stretch on forever. We think we are going to be young forever. We think we will be in compulsory school till we die. We believe we are going to be under our parent’s household – and, by extension, rules – for all eternity.

Yet, when those of us who are older look back we can see those milestones achieved were done in a period of enjoyment, even if we did take the time for granted. Despite our feelings, they were done during a time when things were far simpler than they are in adulthood. Life is complicated, hard, and full of heartache. The milestones don’t have to be.

 

Goals – The Adult Milestones

Well, not exactly. But they are close, though.

The main difference between milestones and goals is that while milestones simply happen to us, goals are intentionally sought after/pursued/achieved. The effects of achieving them, however, are very similar.

One way adults can slow the flow of time down (from our perception, that is) is to set goals. Write them down, evaluate your progress, and readjust as necessary.

As goals are set and pursued, we get to experience the anticipation we once had with milestones in our youth; moreover, we can orientate our lives to help us achieve more goals since we likely have more resources.

Because of this (and, due to the alternative of merely existing), I HIGHLY advocate you take stock of your life, think about what you’d like to achieve, set responsible goals, and evaluate them periodically. It has the power to change your life. Anything else is just drifting aimlessly and is no way to live.

If you are looking for inspiration, you can check out my goals series for the past 3 years: 2022, 2023, and this year – 2024.

The TL;DR, however, is that I set goals at the beginning of each year (historically 5), review at the end of each month detailing the progress, make any adjustments as necessary, and grade myself at the end of the year.

This not only has the benefits of helping me and the intentional goal setting, but it also serves as inspiration for others – some of which may come from reading this article as well as the podcast episode. However, it happens, though, make goals a part of your life from now on; they really are important.

 

Conclusion

Having demonstrated that milestones are important, worth noting, and relishing in, what are we to say? What is left to conclude?

Milestones, for all they are worth, deserve to be recognized, enjoyed, and remembered for what they are. It is my hope that readers take a fresh look at “The Milestone Theory,” understand it, and really cherish those milestones in their life – wherever they may find themselves. Then, adopt goals – setting, evaluating, and grading your achievement – for the remainder of your life. Make the most of your time and size the day.

What do you think?