The Principle of Behavior and Not Circumstances

 

 

The Principle Series

 

 

***Updated for 2024***

Behavior – not circumstances…what does that mean?

Moreover, why does behavior matter more than circumstances? What about our circumstances? Some of them are dire and should not be easily dismissed. How are we to square one with another?

These are all great points to consider. Some of us have been in some of the worst circumstances imaginable. Working against all kinds of odds and having been set back from the beginning. Some of us operate under circumstances far more favorable than others. Circumstances, greatly varying, have a part to play to be sure. But they are not the end all most of us make them out to be.

Plus, I allege behavior is far more important than circumstances – and I’m not alone.

 

The Principle of Behavior and Not Circumstances

*Don’t let your circumstances fence you in*

For this post, I plan on highlighting two different areas that do a great job of presenting us with examples: money and family. There are others and just about anything you can experience demonstrates this principle in action. I only have your attention for a short interval, however, and I want the most bang for my buck. Personally, I believe money and family provide the best examples overall, and after reading this piece, I hope you’ll agree.

The first is pretty self-explanatory – there are a plethora of examples concerning money we could use here. Overcoming your station in life (circumstances) is far easier with money which, coincidentally, is the reason people seek it out. They want a better standard of living. They want to be able to afford whatever they want. People always envy others, and therefore need money to obtain. I think it has tremendous power if we could unpack and scrutinize the actions of others and there is no shortage, either. The best lesson to learn is from others, after all.

The second one, family, is a little more difficult to identify and unravel. Yet when we do, I suspect it has even greater power to demonstrate behavior’s superiority over circumstances. These stories aren’t necessarily harder to find, but they are less sought out. Scores of people want more money but far fewer desire to be better people. I’m reminded of a quote, here:

 

“Don’t wish it were easier wish you were better.”

Jim Rohn

 

Moreover, the stories of successful people overcoming the cards they were dealt usually come from obtaining money, not the family dynamic. Still, I believe the family component is the more powerful of the two, and in time I believe you’ll see it.

 

Behavior and Circumstances – Money

Money has massive influence when it comes to how we behave

 

Simply put, when we’re talking about the financial situations people find themselves in, it’s their behavior and not their circumstances that dictate their station ultimately. It’s this principle when you hear about lottery winners becoming poor again. It’s at work when sports stars, who come from nothing and amass millions, return to it. At work is this principle when people live a certain way and are in debt because of it. Ever heard the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses?” It’s hard at work in millions of lives today, weighing them down from truly succeeding.

I’m reminded of Dave Ramsey here. Dave Ramsey has successfully built a brand – Financial Peace University – designed around how to help people manage their money instead of having their money manage them. Telling your money where to go versus wondering where it went is a novel concept, even if it is common sense. Yet, he runs a successful business on that very principle. It would seem millions of people, from all walks of life, need guidance and direction on how to manage their money – and Dave Ramsey is on the fringe, ready to be that guide.

 

Related: Read The Budgeting Series

 

All things considered, we favor simplicity, too. What’s the easiest way to achieve something? What’s the shortest distance? How can we cut out the fluff and get to where we can see results? That is the typical American mindset, and Financial Peace University is no different. With the “baby steps” designed to be simple, it’s a program scores of people have used to get their financial house in order.

 

Examples of the Principle in Action

Principles in action means results

 

Dave Ramsey is just the first thing that comes to mind for me but by no means is he the only one. The internet has story after story of people who broke the cycle of bad behavior and changed their lives for good.

For example, Tyler Perry is probably one of the more well-known individuals who used to be poor, yet Forbes details some of the more salivating details of his rise to fame – and wealth. Victim of his circumstances? Certainly. Did he allow that to affect his behavior and hold him down? Not a chance.

Another well-known person exemplifying the principle of behavior and not circumstances is Oprah Winfrey. She had some trauma in his family which caused her to run away as a teen. She was poor and had a dysfunctional family but didn’t let that stop her. Tenacity being what it is, she worked her way up to have a net worth in the billions. Notable Biographies has a piece on her that you can read here.

What can we say about Arnold Schwarzenegger, J.K. Rowling, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dolly Parton, Roman Abramovich, Ben Carson, or Elon Musk? These names are but a few who rose to prominence not by wallowing in their circumstances, not by attributing everything bad to their situation but by seeking to overcome it. Want to know more about the above? Click here to check out little blurbs of their life.

Can you spot the common thread weaving throughout their lives? I’m willing to bet their circumstances are similar to millions of Americans today, and yet, they didn’t allow them to define them. Instead, they used them for fuel, adding purpose to their life and motives.

 

What are the benefits?

What happens when you believe in yourself and decide to overcome your circumstances?

 

What comes to mind for me is the loss of potential – personal, national, and societal – when people succumb to their circumstances, allowing them to define and box them in. Rather than chasing dreams, what if people, fueled by tenacity, sought opportunity instead? What if their tenacity was because they wanted to escape from their circumstances, and the result was a better life for not just them but others by extension?

 

Related: Read Talent vs Tenacity or Passion vs Opportunity

 

Can you imagine the benefits that could arise? If Elon Musk can become the world’s richest man pursuing opportunity (and seeking to change his circumstances), then what would the world look like if others sought opportunities to change their own circumstances? What kind of inventions would be borne out of such a drive? How would society be shaped if millions of people decided to change their circumstances rather than be weighed down by them? Or, what would the world look like if people didn’t want to be a product of their environment but their environment to be a product of them?

What a world it would be.

 

Behavior and Circumstances – Family

Your environment – and family – have A LOT to do with how you start but not how you finish

 

We now come to the one point I think can have more effect than anything else – family. Let’s set the stage: Do you know how many people grow up in single-parent households? How many people are products of dysfunctional families? How many people are abused? How many face continual attacks from those they should find rest in? What about those who are abandoned, neglected, or forgotten?

The question, as many already know, is rhetorical. The answer is TOO MANY. Millions are the product of the above – which, by the way – typically CREATES the circumstances many find themselves in. The family dynamic usually is at the root of our circumstances. Not always, but for many of us it’s true and life as we know it.

So, with that in mind, IF we can overcome our family circumstances, THEN we can create our own circumstances.

 

Examples of the Principle in Action

Acknowledgement is the first step – formulating a plan and acting on it is another thing, altogether

 

Imagine someone growing up with alcoholic parents. Now imagine they are the ones to break that chain, to change their circumstances for the better.

Imagine someone who has workaholic parents, and instead of following in their footsteps, they change their family dynamic to be more balanced.

Imagine someone who was abused as a child, bearing the marks into adulthood. As an adult, however, they have not allowed that abusive nature to enslave or define them, instead allowing it to fuel them into a safer environment for those they love.

Can you see the principle played out? Is it obvious to you how they have changed their circumstances for the better? Moreover, can you understand why the family is a more powerful circumstance to change as opposed to money?

Simply put, one has the ability to influence the other: change your family circumstance, and the money piece, while not guaranteed, is more likely to come into play. Change just your money circumstance though, and you just might wind up being a lonely miser.

 

What are the Benefits

How positive are you thinking – and what benefits are there?

 

What would the world look like if many of us pursued – with passions, I might add – a change in circumstances that are our family dynamic? What would the world look like should we love with a biblical love, seeking the better for others, rather than allowing our circumstances to weigh us down and trapping us and future generations? What if we were the ones who did the heavy lifting, demonstrating that the family circumstance has the power to change generations of people?

 

“I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children can live in peace.”

Thomas Paine

 

Imagine the joy that would emanate from young and old alike. Picture the difference whole communities would experience. Note the change that would take place.

And, just to blow your paradigm, imagine all of those people also changed their monetary circumstances because they lived happier and healthier lives.

What a world it would be, indeed.

 

Conclusion

 

The point, while hardly exhausted, has been made. We can let our circumstances weigh us down, or we can overcome them and change them forever. We can be the ones to break the chain, allowing generations to reap the benefits. We can be the ones who create companies, products, opportunities, avenues that didn’t exist, and grow.

Or, we can wallow in our circumstances, allowing them to enslave and hold us down.

Which will it be?