Work – life balance and the skilled trades

***Updated for 2023***

*NOTE: This is primarily written from the perspective of having a family. There is nothing wrong with being single, but your time is your time when single – your work – life balance is drastically different. You could be a workaholic and the effects aren’t as bad as for those with family waiting on them. As such, keep this in mind when reading what is below.*

Enjoying a little work-life balance in a Wisconsin cabin

Anyone start chuckling reading the title? Yea, I hear you. The elusive work-life balance is a rare find, indeed. In fact, some might just say it’s a unicorn. Not only that, but this seems like an impossible task due to the nature of skilled trades work: the hours can fluctuate greatly, the location of job sites are different, and in general more is demanded – making that balance so hard to find.

Does that mean we shouldn’t attempt a work-life balance, then? Not at all. There is so much at stake it’s paramount this topic is visited frequently to see how we are doing.

I suppose I should define the term work-life balance to be clear. Normally, I’d refer to a defining body but not for this; this one is fairly straightforward with a wildly subjective application. Essentially, you are trying to balance work and life. What seems like a simple concept is not easy to establish. What’s more, the need to revisit your benchmark is as frequent as you change socks. If you’re confused, that’d be every day.

Work-life balance for who?

Work-life balance may be across the board but I’m not really interested in dealing with those in the office – the white collar – for one main reason: there are lots of resources already. A quick search turned up the following:

A website dealing with work-life balance from a mental health perspective and primarily “professional” focused. (I’ll let go of my initial reaction to the use of “professional” used for those in the office – especially since the term means so much more).

Another article heavy laden with “office” and “professional” used regularly.

I was surprised at the applicability of this next article, even though in the beginning it specifically mentioned professionals. Find it right here.

Here’s another.

And another.

A host of articles can also be found with advice discussing ideas to use, attempting to get that work-life balance. Here’s one outlining exactly what I mean when I say it’s geared toward office personnel.

This particular post details things you can do – chock full of office jargon.

This article from Forbes lists 5 things you could do – I think the 3rd and 4th points are worthy for us to use in the skilled trades house.

This article isn’t too bad, honestly. Still, it doesn’t have a skilled trades flavor to it.

You get the point. The ability of office personnel to deal with work-life balance is so different than those of the skilled trades. So much of what’s geared in their direction isn’t applicable to us. I mean, the ability to work remotely isn’t an option for tradesmen. Neither is the idea of bringing family members to their respective jobs. Again, what good is the idea of bringing your family to work when it’s not permissible for skilled tradesmen? Hint: it’s not.

You see, a quick comparison shows us that while the issue of work-life balance is across the board the advice and proposed solutions aren’t. What works for those in an office doesn’t work in the field. The same old rhetoric isn’t applicable to skilled tradesmen. It’s time for some new, fresh ideas to help in crafting and establishing a work-life balance that’s actually useful to skilled tradesmen. Moreover, I also think we would do well to also look at how to maximize the time we already have.

It’s not static

The view from a small cabin we stayed in to recharge and balance things

First, we need to recognize a simple but profound truth: reaching a “work-life balance” isn’t a one-time ordeal. It’s a continual process that requires revision and reflection as often as necessary. I know that seems oddly ambiguous but the truth is, what each person needs to establish a work-life balance changes so often. Just when you think you’ve made strides and achieved some measure of success change interrupts the delicate balance – and back to the drawing board you go. It’s elusive, rare, and demonstrates the only constant is indeed change itself.

Since it is ever-changing, so must our tactics be. We have to continually be willing to reassess where we are at in our search for a healthy work-life balance. That is, of course, if you are actually striving to achieve it. If not, why are you reading this article in the first place?

The Art of Balance

How important is your balance – and how are you doing with it?

Alright, the list of ideas below isn’t borrowed from someone else; this topic weighs heavily on my mind and I have wrestled with this over the years. I researched the topic, dealt with fluctuations, thought about ways to find balance, tried some and failed, and ultimately discovered some that helped me. I could write about standard ideas but it feels shoddy and ultimately it’s a regurgitation of the same run-of-the-mill responses. Instead, I try with every article to use authentic material – and it’s the same with this post. What’s below is a list I enacted in my own personal life to help me with balance and enjoy the time I have. Sometimes it seems impossible to increase your time – well then, if that’s you, try and increase the value of the time also. 

Eat meals together – at the table

Dinner doesn’t have to be fancy but it should be important. Break out the Red Solo Cups!

I have come to discover this is vitally important, stretching beyond establishing a work-life balance. Purposeful meal times with your family and no distractions (especially electronic) gives you a chance to unwind, listen to your family, and have good conversation. You get to catch up with your kids or spouse, hear about their day, and what they are experiencing. There is something special about breaking bread with your family and doing so uninterrupted. There are SO MANY distractions during the day and taking a moment to slow down and share a meal can be revitalizing.

And I’m not alone in this belief. Click here for an article on benefits of eating around the table. Or check this article out for some benefits for kids. Here are 9 reasons why those family meals are good. This website touches on the fast-paced lifestyle and how family meals are good for all involved, especially kids. The stats show the benefits, and there are plenty out there.

Note I didn’t specify a time or what meal – while dinner is the meal for most if breakfast works for you then go right ahead. What’s important is the actual meal time itself. If done right, it helps to add stability in our fast-paced life, helping us to achieve that elusive work-life balance we so desperately want and need.

Trust me on this: be sure you schedule time for this if AT ALL possible. I hear a lot of guys say they don’t have any time to do anything and they are super busy. Maybe so. But here’s a truth you can’t dismiss: you make time for what’s most important to you. Why is it we always seem to have time for hobbies (golf, fishing, hunting, sports, etc.; you get the idea) but are time-crunched to have a meal with our family? One word: priority. We have our priorities in turmoil and our lives and families reflect that. (And just like that I have another idea for a post on priorities).

Invest in taking time, slowing down, and regularly sharing a meal with your family. It keeps everyone connected and is so very important.

Unplug when at home

Perhaps you need to unplug – except for the coffee pot, that is – keep that sucker ready to go

While this may be a point many office workers use (I was surprised at the sheer number of websites mentioning telework) the same can be applied to those of us who are in the skilled trades as well. Some of us are well connected to work when we’re at home: emails, phone calls, work documents, etc. They eat into our downtime and rob us of our joy. So many of us get off work, unplug, go home, and then plug into T.V. or the computer or even our phones – and we do this for HOURS every week.

I ran a job some time ago where I was the foreman on nights and basically the superintendent for the whole project. My phone rang constantly – even when I was off. No, especially when I was off because when I was at work people could talk to me face to face. It’s already hard to sleep during the day but when your phone is ringing because people keep disturbing you it’s very difficult.

It got bad enough my wife asked me if I was getting paid for all the extra time devoted to fielding phone calls (I wasn’t). It was the worst job I had, creating gray hairs at a remarkable pace, and not unplugging from work when I was at home caused me to decimate my work-life balance. It was practically non-existent during this project. I had to go back to the drawing board and start over.

I bring it up because I want to back up the talking point with experience. I know that there are times when we have to basically throw the work-life balance in one direction or another – and that project was one for me. But that lopsided balance shouldn’t be the norm and unfortunately, for many of us, it is. This should cause us to reevaluate what it is we really find important. Hopefully, this leads to changes. There is only so much time in the day, after all.

As a side note, unplugging from electronics can and should also mean those at home used for pleasure, like the T.V. or the computer and especially our phones. We spend SO much time on our phones, missing the world around us. This study found an average of 5 hours was spent on phones by Americans. That’s A LOT. No, that’s TOO MUCH.

The problem isn’t with technology itself but with our overuse of it. There’s no arguing it has made our lives more comfortable – but it has also left us more estranged. Maybe you’ve seen this but here is a series of pictures where the electronics are removed to make a point: they are overused. Who can argue with the premise our electronics are entrenched in every area of our lives, causing their overuse and our family’s neglect?

Try this instead: ban electronics at meal times, limit everyone (including you – nothing sets a better example than when you lead by it) in the time everyone can spend using them, and try a family night where you all sit down and watch something together. Remember, your goal is to bring everyone together, spend time with each other, attempt to maximize your time with them, and achieve the best work-life balance you can.

Remember your hobbies – and shelf them if necessary

Whatever your hobbies are, incorporate your family too; your time with them is fleeting faster than you know

I imagine eyes roll with this one. What do you mean shelving your hobbies? I thought the whole point was to actually live a life apart from work? What kind of work-life balance can be achieved if you forgo your hobbies? Que heavy sighs.

Remember, I’m talking to you who are in the skilled trades…and I know what happens. Sure, you may think you’re achieving work-life balance by hitting the golf course or delving into sports and you just may be. The problem, though, is that we usually indulge in excess and our families often suffer. We already understand work with its demands, fluctuations, and long hours takes a lot of our time – leaving less for our families. By indulging in our hobbies we often short our families and further shred our work-life balance.

I mention shelving our hobbies because I think some of us should, quite frankly. We overwork ourselves and then overindulge in hobbies leaving little left for our families. I remember a good friend of mine who did exactly that. He may have enjoyed golf but recognized that, in his particular industry, (he was in the car business) he worked A LOT of hours and it wasn’t fair to his family for him to be on the course. The hobby of golf was taking a piece of his already little precious time from his family and he promptly shelved it. He reasoned his time with his family was more important and subsequently shelved his hobby. I say many of us should follow suit.

I suppose when we really think about it, it’s important to nail down WHO we are seeking work-life balance for. Is it just for you? Well then, carry on kemosabe. But if you have a family you should be seeking it for not just you – your family should be on the forefront. They are, in large part, your life and decisions should most assuredly include them. Too often, though, we don’t think of our families when we overindulge in our hobbies.

The power of NO

The power of no enables me to say yes – to camping trips where I can balance things better

The power of NO is so fundamental we don’t often think about it – but we should. You want to make progress in achieving a better work-life balance? Learn the power of no. We would do well to learn to say no to a lot. Saying no to getting together with other people, saying no to too much overtime, saying no to our own desires; all in pursuit of trying to gain more work-life balance. I’m not saying you need to do each; rather, each is on the table for you to sift through and see what you can do in pursuit of better balance. Remember, that work-life balance is going to ebb and flow over time. We all know out in the field it can be feast or famine. When it’s feast time work is plentiful and when the famine strikes we find ourselves with more time on our hands. That makes balancing work and life difficult but we can’t merely neglect it – it’s to the detriment of our family if we do.

Learning to control ourselves and the desires we have by utilizing the power of no can be freeing. It can free up time for us to re-balance things. It certainly has the potential to aid us in our pursuit of better work-life balance. Most of us don’t exercise this enough – and we should.

 

Achieving work-life balance is a marathon

Achieving a work-life balance isn’t a sprint – it’s a marathon

We should remember a work-life balance is gained by constantly reevaluating where you are in life. It is dynamic and not static, which requires continual reevaluation. There are times when you need to ratchet up your time at work and others where things require you to focus at home. This is why reassessing is so important – it causes you to put things in perspective and see where you are. Unfortunately, most of us do not do this. We don’t take the time needed to evaluate our circumstances – we get lost in a sea of work, electronics, entertainment, and we are on autopilot. The next thing we know, things are and have been out of whack for a while, there’s turmoil in our life, and balance becomes vitally important.

This ebb and flow of a healthy work-life balance is a continual process, one which is always there and needs attention. It is not a sprint; rather, it is a marathon. Train yourself as if you believe that and are in it for the long haul.

Work will always be there

Work is never-ending – prioritize some balance

Remember one thing here: work will ALWAYS be there; it literally is never-ending. If it ended you might be without a job. Your family, though, continues to age and your kids grow older. Your time with them is short already and none of us are promised tomorrow.

For more info and a more comprehensive look, you can check out these articles:

Time: THE Most Important Asset

Time isn’t money – it’s SO much more

Merely floating through life as it carries you is not healthy and ultimately says to your family they aren’t worth the fight. Begin that conversation with your family and keep it open so they know what a struggle it really is. The more communication the better. Most importantly, don’t give up because it seems tough or elusive. Keep up the fight and remember there is a lot riding on your successful struggle for a better work-life balance that works for you and yours. IT IS worth the struggle to find that balance – even if it is on a daily basis.

So what do you think? Do you have any other ideas to help achieve a work-life balance? A successful work-life balance is different for everyone…so share your ideas and what you do for others to glean. And when you get it, enjoy it!