Time isn’t money – it’s worth SO much more

The old adage says “time is money.” I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve heard say it over the years. Typically, they are self motivated and profit driven to pursue monetary wealth, and they equate time with money. I’ll be the one to say it: time isn’t money. In fact, as the title of this post proclaims, it’s SO much more than that.

I wrote an earlier post about time and why it is the MOST important asset we have. You can read it here.

If that concept is true, which I believe it is, why on earth would I cheapen it with equating it to money? I can always make more money; the time I’ve lost, though, is gone. FOREVER. I can’t get it back.

With just that thought alone time is infinitely more valuable. But there’s more. You see, when you go to work, you aren’t merely exchanging your labor for money. On the surface it might appear that way but the reality is far more insidious. I’m trading my precious and fleeting time in exchange for money needed to live. Now that’s more accurate.

Armed with that knowledge, we are wise to ask ourselves some questions. What kind of life do you want to live? The amount of money you have directly correlates to that. How much are you willing to sacrifice to obtain a certain lifestyle?

Are there things you want to do with your life?

What job/career do you find fulfillment in? I mean, if you are going to spend PRECIOUS irreplaceable hours doing something for a living we should do all we can to make them count.

Do you feel fulfilled at your place of employment?

How much time do you spend at work? Is it too much?

What do we really need?

Are you neglecting more important things in pursuit of monetary wealth? Your children are only with you for a SHORT time and any parent can tell you it FLIES by. It’s so cruel; time is a merciless master. Forget world peace; how about we slow down the march of time? The aged would most certainly agree.

Truth is, we need money to live but how much you are willing to sacrifice to gain it is up to you. Do you know how many men look back later in life and see a wake of destruction, brought on by their insatiable appetite for money? The inescapable consequences of neglect haunt them everyday, all because they traded time for the pursuit of money. Now they have money but at the cost of their family, their marriage, their friendships, etc. The bank accounts are full but their homes are empty.

Yet year after year there are men (statistically speaking it is overwhelmingly men, as evidenced by this study, for one) who charge ahead, full throttle with no regard for others, disregard advice and warnings, and before they are aware their lives are full of strife. The cycle continues in perpetuity.

I don’t know about you but that is not the legacy I want to leave my kids. Everyone’s situation is different, their family structures are different and so are their values and needs. Overall though, we have to be very careful we don’t sacrifice too much of our time on the altar of excess.

Time for some transparency

I write this knowing full well my wife believes I work too much. I used to be home for dinner every night, sitting at the family table, sharing a meal and the events of the day. Now I either work late most nights ( I do get home Wednesday and Thursday normal time now) or am gone for other reasons. I work most Saturdays and don’t take off the time I would like – but I have my reasons – and they are important.

I know I am the sole bread winner at our home; it is a family decision we planned for. My wife has the more important job of raising and homeschooling our kids, passing our values to them, and guiding them to becoming productive citizens as they age.

To do that, though, sacrifices must be made. Since we are a single income household the responsibility to financially provide for my family falls to me. Insurance needs are a puzzle piece here also, growing in importance all the time. Not only that, but I have to save for retirement or otherwise I’m being irresponsible. All of the above is on my plate – at least for the foreseeable future. We have some short and long term goals we are acting upon.

I am VERY aware I am trading precious amounts of my irreplaceable time for the above. But for our family it’s important that my wife raise our kids and not someone else. Besides, the cost of daycare is THROUGH THE ROOF and would likely offset any financial gain from my wife working outside the home.

The only reason time is associated with money for me is because I have an hourly wage. But that is where the comparison stops, though. While I have specific plans and goals I weigh them out against what I’m giving up frequently to ensure the tradeoff isn’t way off kilter. If so, I need to regroup and adjust accordingly. The health of my family and marriage is too important to yield that battle unfought.

Someone reading this is thinking, “sure, what you’re saying is nice but for me and my family it just doesn’t work. We have bills and we both have to work.”

I concede my family is blessed. Sure, I have worked hard to get where we are and good, thoughtful decisions certainly play a role in all this but I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge just how fortunate we are.

But I will say this: if we weren’t as fortunate I would work more than one job if I had to so my wife could stay at home. IT’S THAT IMPORTANT TO US. It flies in the face of conventional wealth building but we don’t care. Wealth is more than what is commonly thought of, anyway. That was one of my first posts. Hey, I got to start somewhere, and that post is found here.

There are choices we make everyday that have lifelong impact and the sacrifice of a father is just as important as the love of a mother. And if that sacrifice amplifies that love then sign me up. THAT is worth trading my time for.

*NOTE: IF you have a wife who builds you up, recognizes the sacrifices you make for the family, understands the various demands this life has, and really appreciates the opportunity to stay at home with the children then be sure to rejoice! It is SO important for the health of a family when the sacrifices of a father are on par with the love of a mother. In today’s politically charged climate, it is refreshing to see/hear a wife build up her husband. This is especially so as he offers on the altar his fleeting time which he can NEVER replace. I tip my hat to those who have a balance and perspective – because it is rare.*

What really matters – some honest reflection

Distilled down to the basic elements you should be left with the most important people/things in your life. When you have more years behind than in front of you what is it you will think about? While money for retirement will certainly be a topic, I suspect the lost time you have let slip/wasted will rival monetary needs.

For the sake of this article, I looked into the biggest regrets in old age. I was curious as to what the aged consider their biggest regrets. Here are a couple links detailing what those who have gone before us say they regret. The first was from today.com and the second was from Forbes.

I found many more links; it appears the elderly want to talk about that which they regret often. I didn’t want to delve much deeper honestly. The line between instructive and wallowing remorse on me was a fine one, indeed. On the one hand I want to learn from those who came before me and that includes their mistakes. What I really do not want to do is wallow in the deep regrets of those who have made poor decisions in the past. Like I said, it’s a very fine line. If I take the yellow brick road I find it’s paved with the regrets of those who traveled before me.

My own personal thoughts

Over the thanksgiving holiday 2018 I was in Iowa visiting my in laws. My wife’s birthday is around there so we get a two for one when we visit them and I thoroughly enjoy my time there. It’s a different scenario, place, and location which enables me to decompress some.

This time, however, I found myself in a tight position because a dear friend of mine, 25 + years my senior, passed away while I was on vacation. Imagine that; I didn’t get the chance to go to his funeral because I was out of town.

This was a guy who I had many in depth conversations with. Periodically we would discuss just about anything; he was able to converse with me on a number of levels. He was my senior but a friend nonetheless. And though he has only been gone since November I miss him terribly.

You see here’s the thing: I am ONLY in my late 30s and yet I miss my friend tremendously. I cannot fathom those in their golden years (retirement years) who have regrets: I imagine they grow with age; history weighs more upon those who grow older, after all. If I hurt now what must it feel like in 30 years when time moves like a rocket? The old adage is the days are long but the years are short. My how true that is…

I can recall the first time I heard my wife say “the days are long but the years are short.” I was complaining about something and she reminded me how fleeting our time is. We would look back upon this time with a better attitude and I had to agree. (It was something about the kids, FYI)

We can’t get back those precious moments, the laughter of young children, or those years as they fly by. The lost time to build relationships. The rift between family members that was never dealt with. Next thing you know 10 years have passed by with little notice. Those moments, fleeting as they are, go by SO FAST and they are gone. FOREVER.

For added perspective I usually recall my children’s age from time to time; it really helps me to grasp just how much time has vanished. My oldest son, for example, turned 19 this past April. His passing into adulthood wasn’t that great a shocker to me due to some extenuating circumstances that are in many ways the craziest you’ve likely ever heard. I was actually looking forward to his becoming an adult. I was much younger, more immature, and didn’t value things the way I do now. (It sounds worse reading it than it actually was).

I don’t think about my oldest daughter though, who turned 7 this May, in the same light. I am older, wiser, and time gets heavier as I age. My wife and I have watched her blossom into the little girl she is and my situation with her is VASTLY different than with my oldest son. I felt older when my oldest son turned certain ages; I just feel cheated by time when I take notice of her age. A THIRD OF HER CHILDHOOD IS GONE. A THIRD!!! Wow, what a perspective. When stated in the current light of things I realize just how fleeting the time is. I am constantly blown away by this thought. It’s true I measure time at least in part by how old my kids are.

And finally…

It is not my intention to rob this particular post of its deserved glory by merely talking about children. I plan to write a whole different post about the blessedness of children at some point in the future but suffice it to say I am not alone in realizing the exchange of time for money is not as cut and dry as many make it out to be.

Instead, it is a complex matter, differing for each person and their unique situations which not only drive their decisions but affect them greatly.

Oh, and lest I forget, here is the ultimate rub: while time is most definitely NOT money, money IS time.

I can see I just lost some with that so let me elaborate. Our time is worth more than money and I have spent the last 2000 words explaining just that. But my money? I earned it with my time and therefore a direct correlation between time and money can be made, just not the one many make. I will spend my hard earned money on something; what will it be that attempts to match actually the time lost earning that money? It remains to be seen but overall it falls short, everytime.

How can you put a price on the laughter of young children, the time around the family table, the vacations, the impromptu weekends, or even working around the house with loved ones?

You can’t. People sure try, though. Take a moment and reflect on why your time isn’t money – it’s worth SO much more.