Why I HATE (and I mean HATE) Summer

**Updated for 2023 –  and nothing has changed I HATE Summer**

 

In the hierarchy of seasons, they rank this way:

1. Fall or Autumn
2. Winter
3. Spring
4. Summer

I only list summer because I’m establishing a hierarchy; otherwise, it wouldn’t rank at all. That’s how far down the list it is. As far as I’m concerned, the ONLY POSSIBLE redeeming factor of summer is it makes me long for fall. That’s it though. Reading between the lines it is safe to assume I do not like summer AT ALL.

Now THIS is a much better season!

Now if I were ranking seasons I HATE then summer is the only one. It’s an abysmal one in my opinion. Summer sucks.

Scores of people, though, around this time seem to revel in this horrible season – 29% according to CNN. They list their reasons – all worthless by the way – but from what perspective? I ask this tongue-in-cheek because their reasons are from an “I think I’m going to have fun” perspective. I, on the other hand, have a more practical approach when you get right down to it. 

To that end, I’ll list and dismiss reasons people use in favor of summer – then list the main reason why I HATE this abysmal season. 

Reasons people say they love summer

1. Barbeques & cookouts
2. The beach
3. Parties
4. Girls wear less
5. Longer days
6. Summer gardens

Let’s review each one and dismiss them summarily.

Barbeques & cookouts

Barbeque and cookout? Nah – how about deep frying in the cold instead ?

So many people list this as a reason for liking summer. Sure, there are more hours in the day to have those barbeques and cookouts but let’s be real for a minute: how many of those do we go to? Aside from the standard Memorial Day, July 4th, and Labor Day festivities how many do we actually go to/put on?

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with barbeques or cookouts; it’s nice to gather together with friends and celebrate (or be in remembrance as should be the case with Memorial Day). I myself enjoy the occasional barbeque/cookout but if we’re honest they are rare and as such shouldn’t be a reason for an entire punishing season.

As such, they (barbeques and cookouts) are on the list of things that are shallow and not worth sweating your brains out for.

The Beach

The beach…in February. Only good time to go as far as I’m concerned.

If you don’t live near the coast, then this probably doesn’t even register but for those who do you have no doubt heard people profess their love for the beach. I’ve lived close to the beach all my life (25 minutes away) and the novelty wore off long ago. I honestly don’t care about going to the beach. My family does, however, and that makes for a contentious atmosphere at times. This is solved by my wife and kids going to the beach/local water park during the day while I’m working, thus sparing me from having to go. Just recently my family stayed in a cottage at the beach (different from the beach we live close to) for a week with some friends and family. I was there for a portion of the weekend and 4th of July but the rest of the time I was working.

We’ve even maximized business trips – turning them into quasi-vacations where my family enjoys the beach and pool while I’m busy elsewhere.

Although I hate to admit it, this reason has more merit than the others. The summer temperatures lend themselves to beach activities and if you went to the beach every weekend to maximize your time then saying you love summer would have some weight. And if you lived at the beach that adds even more magnitude. We’ve all seen the “beach bums” riding down the boardwalk on their beach cruiser with a super tan; they seem to live for the beach. It even seems as if their life revolves around this tidbit. I’ll tip my hat to them because they put their money where their mouth is.

Still, while their actions may reinforce their liking of summer, it does little to entice me. I’ve thought to myself at times if I were a beach bum I might enjoy summer but then I get a measure of sanity back and downright trash the idea – as one should.

The likely truth, though, is people like the beach but nowhere near enough to go every weekend to maximize their time with it. And because this is the very likely case for most, it’s a smokescreen argument and therefore I don’t pay it any attention.

*NOTE: In case you haven’t heard, a few years ago there were many cases of people contracting flesh-eating bacteria from going to the beach. As if I needed another reason not to go, but when you are handed ammo you load the gun and fire. People died from it – it’s no joke. There are all kinds of public service announcements warning people about having open cuts, wounds, or even avoiding shaving days before going to the beach to minimize risk. You know what eliminates risk? Practicing beach abstinence. It’s like your back in high school all over – the only surefire way to avoid contracting anything isn’t protection but abstinence. You’re welcome.*

Parties

I would rather be here than at a party in summer

This one is in line with the previous reason but you can expand on it some. For example, you could attend a pool party where they may or may not have a barbeque or a cookout.

Listen: parties aren’t bad and I enjoy my fair share BUT we should also be reasonable. No one is partying all the time or a majority of the time for that matter. Well, no productive citizen is, anyway. Very few of us make many parties. The limited time we actually party should factor here. For some strange reason, though, the amount of time we will or do spend in the summer heat isn’t factored in – it never is.

In fact, many who attend parties end up complaining about the heat, sweat, and bugs. You’d think that makes it less enjoyable, enough so that most don’t partake in this event often. And because of that, it doesn’t merit any substantial consideration. I HATE summer.

Girls wear less

Summer might be the season of bikinis and beaches but is it worth all of the heat? 

I hear this answer A LOT. It’s probably the number one reason most guys say they like summer, probably around 99.99%. Men, being visual creatures, add serious weight to this point and by almost virtual agreement seems like a stellar reason to like summer.

The thing is though, you likely have to go to the beach or a pool party to see this fleshed out and that’s more than likely to be few and far between. If anything, this should help to demonstrate the nature of visual and how powerful it is to men.

It’s like this: men like to look and women like to be looked at. Pretty simple really, and no other season is this more true than summer. Guys can look at a woman and see something he likes in a parka or bikini. The bikini, though, shows more skin, leaves less for the imagination, and guys obviously prefer that over a parka.

I’ll admit that as a reason this one is right up there with going to the beach. Coupled together, they make a nicely packaged argument for the summer season.

Even better is that guys don’t have up go to the beach to see girls wearing less – although it is the prime spot for that. Women wear less in the summer and it’s a feast for men’s eyes.

However, even a reason such as this doesn’t register for me. It doesn’t win any points or merit just because I concede it’s a good one. Why? Simple: because I’m content with what I have (my wife) and as good of a reason as it is it STILL falls short for me to sweat like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

The underpinning of this point is taken away when you really think about it. If you’re single, it’s all fine and good – enjoy the buffet. If you’re married, though, you have to consider your woman in all this. You wouldn’t want your woman gawking at some guy or guys all the time, would you? So why would you do it to her?

It’s not my intention to get into a debate on the subject; instead, I merely wish to point out why I believe it to be an unworthy reason and how I approach it. Even if I were single, it still wouldn’t mean much to me – I’d rather be comfortable in fall/winter than sweat for a glimpse of some scantily clad woman.

Longer days

Longer days mean I have to cut grass and sweat – I don’t enjoy that at all

Some people get depressed when fall and winter set in. The shorter days coupled with increased possibility of getting sick is too much for them and depression moves in. Hey, I get it and hate to admit the worse sicknesses I’ve ever had came during winter. Still, and I’m speaking from experience here, I can’t in good conscience elevate summer in any kind of hierarchy (except the one where hate is associated).

There is something to be said about longer days + more daylight = more productivity. One thing not factored in is heat and how it decreases productivity so it’s a non-starter to me. You may think you have longer to work but the reality is you have longer light to be miserable. Again, speaking from experience here. I HATE summer.

Summer gardens

I enjoy gardens but not the heat

I don’t know about this one. Someone could say they like to do some landscaping (I do) and they enjoy the time their hands are in the soil (again, I do) but summer isn’t the time to enjoy it as far as I’m concerned. Maybe springtime but definitely not summer. I get that we’re talking about the many fruits and vegetables that grow during the summertime, thriving off the heat that punishes humans but I’m not impressed. I realize that season is necessary to grow food for us to eat but it doesn’t mean I can’t bemoan this horrid time of year. Food may grow but this guy just grieves. I HATE summer.

The reason why I HATE summer

THE best tool in my toolbox

I have but one reason which trumps any and all of the reasons why people think and/or say they love summer and it’s this: millions of my brothers (and sisters) and I work in this weather. While this weather may seem conducive to a beach trip, it is NOT friendly to the laborer, tradesman, or craftsman. I HATE summer.

Most people think about summer as some fun season, time for longer days, later nights, cookouts, beach parties, and bikinis. That’s about as far as their thoughts go – never fully appreciating the air-conditioned environment they are in.

The outside world, however, presents a different picture:

I’m sweating just looking at this picture

From an office perspective, who cares? I mean, that walk from the car to the office in the morning is muggy. Then in the afternoon, you have to walk from the office to the car and then from the car to the house is brutal.

From the skilled trades perspective, who spend much of their day in the elements, summer isn’t merely a walk from their house to the office, a barbeque or cookout, it isn’t a visit to the beach or bikinis – it’s 10 plus hours of punishing heat. It’s sweating out your body weight on a daily basis. It’s a constant fight dealing with chaffing. It’s using Goldbond (your absolute best tool in your toolbox) far more than you’d like. In short: it’s miserable.

Then, after you spend all day in the heat, you travel home only to spend even more time outside cutting grass, weed eating, and general maintenance needed around your castle.

The tasks skilled tradesmen have, at work or home, are all far easier to do in the fall or winter. The grass doesn’t grow during those seasons so there’s that. They can put more clothes on, move around and get their blood flowing – there are things they can do to get and start warm. This just isn’t true for summer. Plan on sweating your brains out when the season descends like buzzards on fresh roadkill. Never mind the extreme difficulty many face because of the staggering level of humidity. For those of you in dry climates take a shower and without drying off put your clothes on – that’s a picture of what many deal with daily during the miserable summer. Or walk outside and have someone throw a wet towel on you. Do you like breathing water? Then come enjoy the humid summer and you can try and simulate gils.

Walking around with this humidity is like swimming in water

Tongue in cheek can lighten the mood but not the suffering many experience in dealing with this heat. Heat exhaustion and heat stroke are very real threats that are not considered when “summer lovers” tout how much they adore the season. They have control over how much they are in the sun – many do not, though. Summer may seem sweet to the occasional weekend warrior but not for the daily grind. Unfortunately, millions of my skilled trade brethren suffer daily in this weather. Someone has to do it and I sing the praises of those in their respective crafts, laboring away trying to stay cool and healthy. For many, the last thing we want to do after a long, hard, and punishing day outside is stay outside some more. Point me in the direction of the room where you can hang meat in it, if you please.

So to conclude this excellent article: SUMMER SUCKS.

No, seriously, and with proper emphasis on my annunciation, SUMMER SUCKS. I HATE SUMMER.

Stay cool, fellow tradesmen.

*You can also check out another article I wrote – Summer Sucks – for some added clarity*